March 27th, 2005

elven glare

(no subject)


someone gave me a magazine article the other day about typical indigo birth charts.. one is the "bowl" shape. All my planets (and planetoids) are in this bowl, except for Mercury, Venus and Chiron which are all bang opposite in a bunch.. .. =head scratch=.. Anyone more versed in astrology got any thoughts?




This is like my first post on this community!! Anyways, this has been on my mind for a while. I dont want to give out too much info about it but i'll give you the basics.

Lately i've been having these dreams about someone named "Clinton". He doesnt directly speak to me or anything but he's always there. I could go scuba diving in a dream and he'll be there, jumping off a building, at church, at school.. there, there, there.

In my dream i'd be at school or something walking around and i'd see him in the crowd. I dont know why because i'd never seen him before but i know for a fact his names "Clinton". He's not looking at me but when i suddenly become drawn towards him he looks at me. I begin to walk towards him and try to speak to him but nothing comes out. With each step that i take he fades away more and more.

I've tried talking to him from a distance but nothing comes out or he cant hear me. The dreams became so bad that i began to sleep walk. There was a time where i woke up down on a road somewhere near a round-about. I was so shocked and frozen with fear i didnt know what to do.

I managed to sneak home without my parents noticing i was gone. I confronted my mum about it and she became uneasy. I asked why and she explained that when i was little we used to live near a church/cemetery. We were at a bus stop near it and i was waving at the cemetery. My mum questioned my actions and i simply told her "I'm waving to Clinton".

Now this scared me half to death because i never mentioned clinton's name to her. I just told her the rest. But my description from when i was three was exact to the one i told her then.

Now, i keep having dreams where Clinton is pointing to the same cemetery but he'd shout at me and tell me to not say a word to anyone. I told my best friend, Desiree, and now i keep having dreams that he tries to kill me and screams at me saying i shouldnt have told anyone.

I went over to my mums friends house and she immediatly ran inside and came out with a knife. I panicked and she said that there was a ghostly figure of a boy behind me holding a knife. My mums friend sees ghosts all the time and for her to react like that really scared me.

Another event was when i was walking down the street a lady came up to me and grabbed my arm. I screamed and she said "Hush, be quiet for the boy behind you will surely hurt you." I looked behind me but nothing was there. She described what Mel told me. I'm really freaked out now and things are getting weirder. It feels like someones watching me all the time. I get cold at night when im in bed and i can feel someone touch my cheek and hold my hand tightly.

I'm really really scared and im usually not. My mums side of the family have ghostly encounters all the time and have lived in several haunted houses but this is really scaring me. What i want to know is, Can Clinton hurt me if he wished to? Am i in any real danger and should i go to the cemetery or not?
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    confused confused


Maybe because I love you indigo and maybe you'll understand my anger better as an indigo. I was reading a friends journal, she had gone to a medieval fair where they do everything exactly period, sometimes right down to punishments. Now one of the clans she was visiting does whipping for punishments, actual blood drawing type whips. Apparently one of the newer boys of 17 of this clan failed to notice a can of soda in the path of the Clan leader, even though the clan leader didn't trip over it he was still punished with 11 lashings with a whip. Again this is period and tradition of this clan and the boy new it joining this clan. But the part that pissed me off was that this was hardly justification for a whipping, sure the Clan leader is like a king to his clan and gets all this oober attention and respect. But I thought the punishment harsh. Now I don't know these people, I wasn't there... but it made me angry enough to cry. Every pore in my body screams injustice wether I know these people or not. My boyfriend couldn't understand why I got so angry, I didn't know the boy or these people and I couldn't explain to him why it upset me so because he doesn't care for people beyond family and friends. How do I explain it to him I can't help it, I have compassion heaven forbid and empathy, I'm exhausted so these two parts of my nature are VERY big because I can't control them as I could more awake. Am I so wrong for being angry about all this? Fine punishments are punishments but let it be for something worthwhile... Maybe it's my indigo side or just my nature but I despise almost all authority and this is why, abuse of the system. Sad... I really enjoy these medieval events because I go to them too... I guess I'm a rebel then, I bow to no man.
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    angry angry