May 31st, 2005

The Time Has Come

Hello to all once again, this is neochristos reporting. All my life, I've been searching, searching for the meaning of it all. Went through deep isolation periods, and depression......which all finally lead me to answers. I eventually got to the door. This door, some of you may be familiar with....while others have not yet seen it. This door leads to the next stage. It's what leads to the jump. The transformation. My evolution. This door leads to the Source ;). I have been standing at the door, for about 3 years now. Scared to walk through. Scared of what might happen. Scared of what I may lose. I suppose the unknown is a fear also. I have recently come to realize that I am afraid of what I will become. My mind doesn't really know how to 'turn on' the light within myself, and be able to keep the same life style. Marianne Willamson said it best. It's not our darkness that we are really afraid of, but all of the infinite light that we can become. Afraid of success. Afraid of being 'different'. Afraid of sticking out. Afraid of ridicule. All of that good stuff. It's something that is inevitable for every soul in the Universe. It's only a matter of time. I feel so alone, because I am on a path that few understand. That few have experienced. That few are daring to tread now. I've procrastinated with it. Made excuses. Claimed to know the way. It's not easy. How do you tell those around you that you have to drop all of the insecurities, misery, suffering, lack, and unhappiness in order to become like God? How many people would understand such a thing? time has come. It is inevitable. The only question is how much longer do I want to keep up this charade. How much more suffering can I take. How much more of this humanity do I want to swallow? It's hard, because it's when you have to turn within, and face yourself. No more blaming other people. No more running. No more hiding. It's the classic stand off. Nothing is kept secret. Everything is known, everything is brought to the table. The shit is very likely to hit the fan. It's the path that few have trodden. I feel sad, because I feel as if no one around me understands what has to be done. They don't know where I'm going. I am not without hope though ;). It is for the greater good that I have to do this. I have come here, for a purpose. It's time for me to grow up. To retake the throne. To own my shit. To be Master of the Ship. There is so much that I will have to leave behind. I am about to embark on a journey that will be painful, and difficult. I must go on a rampage on myself, within......and take no prisoners. I am standing in a forest of shadows, on the edge, looking out, and I see a world beyond imagination. A world of eternal beauty, and endless joy in self expression. Becoming who we are. A world that has only been dreamed of by the great minds of our era. But between where I now stand and the great land beyond, there is a vast labyrinth that I must go through. Filled with hardship, pain, self sacrifice. As alone as I may feel, I know that I am not alone. There are those of us who have come back now, at the turn of the make the dream come true. Some say it can't be done. Some say we're crazy. Many are still totally oblivious to virtually everything around them. Despite all the odds, I tell you this: there is a flame within me, that will not die. It has enormous strength, and will. I will not let this world down. I am going to inspire the flame within those all over the place. I will very likely have to challenge and come face to face with the very powers that are at the foundation of the current world scheme. I've never really told anyone this. But the Matrix Revolutions is my favorite. The reason is because of how close it resonates with my situation. The end fight with Neo and Smith, is exactly what I am going to have to do. It's the chapter that I'm in right now in life. It's nice to see such a deep truth of life and existence brought to life in a movie. "This is it, this is the end!"......"You were right Smith. You were always right. It was inevitable." The time has come. My time is up. I must carry on, with my destiny. Life stands before me. Fear was in my way before. It is all but gone. I have been dragged through the flames of guilt, inner strife, misery, loneliness, depression. I've had enough of this. I'm going to close my eyes, take a deep breath, hold my nose.....and jump in. It is my greatest wish that those around me could understand me, and understand what I have to do. Where I have to go. I wish they could relate to me, and I to them. I see that this just isn't meant to be. So as I stand in fear, and uncertainty in front of my destiny.....I raise my head....take a deep breath, turn around, and face the cave of the dead. "I fear not death". I have great confidence and hope that everything is going to be wonderful at the end. It is going to be so worth it, I promise. And I want you all to know that I love you, with all of my heart.....I will not let you down. Well, that's it. There's nothin for it. This is it. This is the end.-NeoChristos........"In case I don't see ya....good afternoon, good evening......and good night".
  • Current Music
    Neodammerung (Revolutions...Upanishads)

Broken Head

"What is profit anyway? What is the greed that is motivating a frenzied humanity to destroy the planet and degrade itself? If a media mogul pockets so many hundreds of millions of dollars a year while leaving his children and grandchildren a world without clean air, Amazon jungles, the purple splendor of coral reefs, or animals, where is his profit? If a chemical corporation profits by spreading toxins across the globe the will rematerialize as cancer in the flesh of their own anxious stockholders, where is the profit? To what Martian retreat or Lunar Club Med do these madmen - ourselves! - see themselves retreating when they have finished fucking this planet like an old whore?...

We deny our intuition, because we don't believe in spirits or listen to our dreams, because we have banished our potential shamans to mental institutions and homeless shelters, because we have imprisoned ourselves within virtual shells of technology, it may be pathetically easy for ambiguous, supersensible entities - demons or devas, Archons or rakshasas - to continually operate on our minds, filling the vacuum we have created with sludge, anesthetizing us to deeper levels of wisdom.

If that is the case, then we, the privileged inheritors of an increasingly insecure and globally destructive empire, can be seen as suffering from demonic possession on a vast scale. The parasites manipulating us hide within our egocentric materialism and spiritual nihilism. They laugh at us in our dreams. Their will is enacted by multinational corporations that can be seen, shamanically, as ambiguous sentient entities that prefer to act outside of human control, in occult ecologies of information and high-speed financial markets. Like all Archons, these corporations, often branded by mythological symbols, increase their own power by compelling human belief and sacrifice to their greatness. Their aim seems to be the transformation of the earth into a non-human wasteland.

Where will we find shamans powerful enough to suck the spiritual poison from our social body and vomit it out for us? Wizards who can tame these demons? Visionaries who can point the way forward? There is only one place. Unlikely as it seems, we have to become our own shamans, wizards and seers. As spiritual warriors, we must take responsibility for the plight of our species. To break the spell of our culture's death-trap deceptions and hypnotic distractions, we need the courage to confront what lies behind the open doors of our own minds."
- Daniel Pinchbeck, Breaking Open the Head

"Fucking the planet like an old whore". What a fitting sentiment. The strong language totally describes the severity of the situation. I sometimes feel like I'm the crazy one for being able to project the results of our activities even a decade or two and being alarmed. It feels good to see someone else explain it so eloquently.

The concept of our culture being possessed on a mass scale by demons/archons, is a paradigm I think we could work with. Most people have the ingrained knowledge of these concepts, from fairy tales and what not, that it could have a real effect. It is either this or really hurry up with a scientific/technological model that functions. The only problem with something like that is that type of knowledge seems to take a long time to trickle down to the 'common man'. Maybe it's a mistake to look to the past for this affliction, maybe this is beyond the realm of what humanity has dealt with in the past, or if various prophecies/oral traditions are correct, maybe it isn't. Maybe this is one of many human ages, and we are failing the same test we've failed in the past.

Either way, I really enjoyed this book, even if it didn't go into great depth on any particular subject, it was an excellent attempt to touch base with almost all of the great thinkers in the fields of shamanism and entheogens. From McKenna to Schultes, Wasson to Grof, DeKorne to Leary, Siebert to Strassman, Crowley to Lilly, Burroughs to Castaneda, Gurdjieff to Jung, Ott to Shulgin, Vallee to Watts, and this list is anything but exhaustive. If I had to recommend the first book someone should read on this subject, this would be it. Check him out @

  • Current Music
    Free - All Right Now